It's after midnight, and like most nights, the voice in my head is telling me I should be sleeping. Especially since I am exhausted from the past few weeks of the holiday season. Actually, "burnt out" is the correct term to use, I believe.
The idea for this blog entry has been floating around my thoughts for the past few days, as I see everyone's sun-and-sea-filled instagram and facebook posts. This winter, it feels like everyone but me got to bask in the sun, feel the sand on their feet, or catch a glimpse of some much-needed R&R (cue the violins).
My husband went away for 1 week over Xmas and NY, and left me in -16 degrees Celsius with 3 kids on winter break. I don't blame him, in fact I encouraged it - he had a family wedding, and also really deserved a break from work and his routine. The anticipation of him (and everyone else around me) going away was actually worse than the week itself. I managed well, in fact, I rocked it. I arranged 3 days of camp for my boys - big success. A few special friends and family around me supported us by cooking for us, taking my kids out, visiting and just simply caring. The week flew by, as did 2016, and on January 1, 2017, husband returned after a successful and enjoyable trip.
As winter break now comes to an end, and new years resolutions have been carved out, I find myself absolutely exhausted - mentally, emotionally, physically. I guess I held it together over the holiday season, but actually I feel like I have been holding it together for... well, as long as I can remember. We immigrated to Toronto in April 2013, shortly after our last vacation to a beach town (my hometown of Port Elizabeth, South Africa). And what an amazing, challenging, rewarding and trying few years its been. I literally cannot remember what it feels like to lie on the beach (not a lake), and actually RELAX.
Sometimes, we just need a change of scenery, a change of pace, a change of perspective. Hopefully mine will come sometime this year... but until then, I will be sure to count my blessings - of which I certainly have many!! One of which is this new passion of mine: #momjo.
My husband always reminds me to focus on what we DO have, not what we DON'T, so I will continue to do that... when I get to kiss my beautiful babies goodnight, when I get to laugh with my husband over our silly personal jokes, when I walk through the door of my own home, when I speak to my widespread family on a daily basis, and when I think about the incredible friends I have spanning the globe.